Everyone I talk to lately is dealing with enormous, too-much-to-process burdens. Family members (or themselves) fighting for their lives, money troubles, parenting challenges, and you know, the world being on fire.

After 2+ years of normalizing the need for mental/emotional healthcare, you would think we would have learned some tools to help us process, right?

I think we can add just…one…more…

Of course, I know what to do to get back to neutral, but I’m preferring to pretend that puzzling will make my feelings disappear.

Everyone in my support system has short circuits too; avoidant, picking fights, displacing feelings, and some are projecting their feelings onto others. So I’ve started to call it out:

“My feelings are so enormous that I’m having a hard time processing them. Does that sound like what you’re going through?”

Together, we’ve found some tips that are helping us cope.

Emotional Circuit Breakers

It’s basic fire safety. Your people need you, so you’ve got to figure out how to deal with it, even when it’s the last thing you have time or energy for! Try these emotional circuit breakers to help alleviate the burden.

1. Talk

“My feelings are so enormous that I’m having a hard time processing them. Does that sound like what you’re going through?” Four out of the last five times I’ve said this to a friend, we’ve been able to have an honest, sometimes deeply emotional, conversation that we both need. I’ve enjoyed the tears, laughter, tiny hopes, and general relief that comes from the release and the shared burden.

My new catchphrase is: “It may feel like the world is on fire, but we need to hug each other tighter. Because the only way to get through this is together.”

The power of validation and empathy cannot be overstated – humans need reassurance in order to move through emotions. Opening up to a loved one is emotional triage. The reality is that they probably need to talk too! Burdens only get lighter when we share the load.

2. Walk

My bestie and I started the walk-and-talk back in the early days of the pandemic to manage our anxiety, and I realized that going solo also helps to get the emotions unstuck. There’s something about forward motion that calms the fight/flight/freeze response. Looking up at the sky reminds me that the weight of the world is not on my shoulders. I have to remind myself that a 30-minute walk will do wonders, but even a 10-minute walk will help.

3. Journal

Self-talk can get downright nasty when I’m overloaded, which often leads to rumination. I start shoulding all over myself and it only make the burden worse. When my go-to sage isn’t available to help me work through this mess, I use journaling to interrupt rumination and negative self-talk. I find that once I write it down, the awful thing my mental boggart is telling me, I can see it for what it is: fear manifested.

4. Nourish

In times of stress, our bodies are less able to absorb nutrition, so it’s no wonder that I’ve been reaching more often for sugar and snacks. I don’t love to cook, but when I can give myself the gift of a delicious, nutritious meal, I notice how my body floods with all of the positive hormones. “Wanna go to Dishdash (my favorite restaurant)?”

5. Play

Our brains process uncertainty as either anxiety or creativity. I’m particularly fond of creative outlets to help me; the act of joyfully diving into a creative or playful act releases my imagination and I instantly feel more grounded! I’ve learned to focus on the act of playing, rather than the outcome, otherwise, my inner perfectionist wants to shove her way to center stage. Engage curiosity and leave the judgment at the door.

Above all, give yourself a little grace!!! When times are tough, you’re gonna drop your basket sometimes. If you can find the space to laugh at the absurdity, phone a friend, and hug a loved one, you can fill your well of self-compassion, too.